The fear of flying

I have a fear of flying. I'm not a nervous flyer, or a bit anxious on take-off, but a terror stricken passenger from start to finish - I have a fear of flying. This is quite restricting.

Many of my friends are off next week on a two week tour of China. I am not going due to work commitments and unfinished lectures. If I were going, however, I know that - unlike my excited friends planning and talking about all that they will enjoy - I would be quivering in my boots, almost wishing I wasn't going and be panicking about the long flight necessary to endure.

One thing that strikes me about the fear of flying, however, is the lack of wider understanding in its regard.

Everybody seems to think they know what your fear of flying is. Consequently, they reassure with pretty useless statistics and hollow encouragement, saying "once you're up there you're fine". The statistics are true. I know. I can sit here perfectly rationally and accept them and understand them. But that's the thing, there's nothing rational about the fear of flying and, as such, no rational argument or statistics can negotiate with it. Try telling someone who's scared of spiders that a little arachnid has never grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed its victim.

Another one that always reaches my ears: long flights are easier than short ones.

No they're not. Let me tell you why.

I know that take-off and landing are generally the most dangerous and widely nervous parts of a flight. It is when the plane is doing the most and working the hardest to defy gravity or work in collaboration with it. In between, the plane moves relatively little. It soars through the skies at 30,000 feet until it's time to descend. What people mean when they say that shorter flights are worse than longer flights is that a greater proportion of the experience is taken up by take-off and landing with not very much time spent being able to relax and settle down amidst the clouds. For someone with a fear of flying, however, this means absolutely nothing.

A mind fearful of flying does not care that, at 30,000 the plane is doing relatively little, getting into its stride, meaning that those on board can settle down and 'chill out'. A fear of flying is in the mind and from the moment those wheels leave the ground until terra firma is enjoyed once again, that mind is panic stricken and terror ridden regardless of what the plane is doing and whether or not it is rational to relax. Other people can relax as much as they want, however, someone with a fear of flying will sit there with sweaty palms, gripping the seat or the nearest hand until the wheels touch the runway. As such, shorter flights are easier than longer flights. I've never been aboard an aircraft for longer than 2 hours and long haul flights feel me with great dread.

The fear is very much in the mind, however, and just by saying that I know I'm on the road to accepting it and conquering it. I have flown before - little hops around Europe - and I am determined to fly again. Indeed, in 5 weeks time I fly to Monaco. In September I could be flying to Glasgow (yes, I know it's only Scotland but that's just as much of a challenge). Next year, honeymoon plans are full of New York, Washington and Orlando. I am, now more than ever, determined to conquer this fear and to enjoy a life that resignation to the fear prevents. I will fly and I will enjoy the destinations that it offers. I have the books and I am hopefully soon taking the fear of flying course. Most importantly, however, I am of the mindset that accepts this fear and plans to overcome it. Anxiety can be conquered.