I have, however, over the last 3 months, enjoyed a few sessions of hypnotherapy to tackle this fear of flying.
As the past year has ticked by, I have become increasingly aware of the precise nature of my fear and its various aspects. The Virgin Atlantic Flying without Fear course helped me tackle more conscious concerns with the concept and helped me learn how to relax on board a flight, putting my mind at ease as regards how the plane works. The experience surrounding my excursion to Glasgow in September, however, made me realise that there was an inherent, subconscious anxiety at the heart of the fear. It was, to be exact, the thought of being at 35,000ft, in a tin can, that scared me; the thought of 6 miles of 'thin air' being seemingly responsible for my well being rendered me terrified. Hypnotherapy was recommended; so keen and determined (as I was in 2014) to tackle the fear, I gave it a go.
Hypnotherapy is not as initially (and mistakenly) believed and I will put my hand up now to revoke the previously formed view. TV 'magicians' are perhaps partly responsible for the common misunderstanding that gives rise to the view set out above; it is not about a hypnotiser 'taking control' of one's thoughts and actions. I learned pretty quickly that hypnotherapy is a state of (deep?) relaxation, where the mind is cleared of all the busy day-to-day goings on, and where it can be engaged - on a subconscious level - with another level of communication.
The first couple of sessions were used to learn about the fear, to explore where it came from and to confront some of the specific aspects of flying that have scared me, changing my perception of them. Apparently, my fear of flying stems from the fear of heights with which I grew up - images of my five year-old self on a cliff top, afraid of 'the drop' were conjured in my mind; and it seems that going through security and boarding an aircraft are the most fearsome (points of no return?).
It is the last session, however, that - I feel, cracked the nut. This came in two parts:
I've often said that, with my fear of flying, I feel a battle between my conscious, rationale self (that understands the statistics, wants to live a little, and wants to enjoy flying), and my subconscious, fearful self that has given rise to the fear. Well, last night, those two aspects were confronted and their differences mediated. I'm not going to go into detail, partly because you'll probably think me crazy, however, the protective part of my brain has perhaps been trying a little too hard to look after me, giving rise to anxiety and, in this case, fear. Through hypnotherapy, I was invited and able to understand and accept the need to 'let go' a bit, face up to the fact that life is full of uncertainties and 'unknowns', that I need to 'let go' of being over-protective and realise that I'm quite capable of looking after myself, without irrational anxieties seeking to do that for me. Indeed, take an anxious mind out of the equation, and you have more rational, sensible mental faculties, capable of being careful.
Quite simply, I should trust myself (and others where relevant and necessary) - thus letting go of the uncertainties and letting things just happen as they should; and in return, I should not be over-protective and press the panic button.
The second part of the session discussed how I might practice this - simply, through relaxation, breathing, positive thinking, trusting myself (and others where relevant), and 'being present' (i.e. not getting caught up in one's own thoughts and worries, away from the calmness of the present moment). Practicing this will reduce the anxiety and rationalise calmly any worries, waiting to be dispelled and dismissed. I don't have to be the perfect flyer, I just want to be a calm one.
I'm sure reading this has firmed in your mind the view that I have gone completely crazy (what is he on about?!), however, I do feel that progress has been made - like never before. I feel, finally, that we've unpacked the fear of flying, got right to the heart, and confronted the imbalance on which it rested (note the past tense ;-)). I am perhaps slightly unsure of whether it's worked, I keep trying to reassure myself that it has and will work when the time comes, and that I need to practice the right frame of mind. But I do feel different - I just looked out of my office window at a plane descending on its approach to Heathrow. I understood and believed that being on a plane (such as that one) was completely and utterly safe, in the hands of trained experts. Hell, I even wanted for a moment to be on that plane, admiring the views of London from the skies above. Last night, shortly after returning from the session, I looked in the mirror and, for some reason, beamed and clenched my fist in a gesture of victory. Nailed it.
A fortnight today we fly to Dublin for the weekend. The thing I'm worrying about the most is how many jumpers to take.
Hypnotherapy is not as initially (and mistakenly) believed and I will put my hand up now to revoke the previously formed view. TV 'magicians' are perhaps partly responsible for the common misunderstanding that gives rise to the view set out above; it is not about a hypnotiser 'taking control' of one's thoughts and actions. I learned pretty quickly that hypnotherapy is a state of (deep?) relaxation, where the mind is cleared of all the busy day-to-day goings on, and where it can be engaged - on a subconscious level - with another level of communication.
The first couple of sessions were used to learn about the fear, to explore where it came from and to confront some of the specific aspects of flying that have scared me, changing my perception of them. Apparently, my fear of flying stems from the fear of heights with which I grew up - images of my five year-old self on a cliff top, afraid of 'the drop' were conjured in my mind; and it seems that going through security and boarding an aircraft are the most fearsome (points of no return?).
It is the last session, however, that - I feel, cracked the nut. This came in two parts:
I've often said that, with my fear of flying, I feel a battle between my conscious, rationale self (that understands the statistics, wants to live a little, and wants to enjoy flying), and my subconscious, fearful self that has given rise to the fear. Well, last night, those two aspects were confronted and their differences mediated. I'm not going to go into detail, partly because you'll probably think me crazy, however, the protective part of my brain has perhaps been trying a little too hard to look after me, giving rise to anxiety and, in this case, fear. Through hypnotherapy, I was invited and able to understand and accept the need to 'let go' a bit, face up to the fact that life is full of uncertainties and 'unknowns', that I need to 'let go' of being over-protective and realise that I'm quite capable of looking after myself, without irrational anxieties seeking to do that for me. Indeed, take an anxious mind out of the equation, and you have more rational, sensible mental faculties, capable of being careful.
Quite simply, I should trust myself (and others where relevant and necessary) - thus letting go of the uncertainties and letting things just happen as they should; and in return, I should not be over-protective and press the panic button.
The second part of the session discussed how I might practice this - simply, through relaxation, breathing, positive thinking, trusting myself (and others where relevant), and 'being present' (i.e. not getting caught up in one's own thoughts and worries, away from the calmness of the present moment). Practicing this will reduce the anxiety and rationalise calmly any worries, waiting to be dispelled and dismissed. I don't have to be the perfect flyer, I just want to be a calm one.
I'm sure reading this has firmed in your mind the view that I have gone completely crazy (what is he on about?!), however, I do feel that progress has been made - like never before. I feel, finally, that we've unpacked the fear of flying, got right to the heart, and confronted the imbalance on which it rested (note the past tense ;-)). I am perhaps slightly unsure of whether it's worked, I keep trying to reassure myself that it has and will work when the time comes, and that I need to practice the right frame of mind. But I do feel different - I just looked out of my office window at a plane descending on its approach to Heathrow. I understood and believed that being on a plane (such as that one) was completely and utterly safe, in the hands of trained experts. Hell, I even wanted for a moment to be on that plane, admiring the views of London from the skies above. Last night, shortly after returning from the session, I looked in the mirror and, for some reason, beamed and clenched my fist in a gesture of victory. Nailed it.
A fortnight today we fly to Dublin for the weekend. The thing I'm worrying about the most is how many jumpers to take.
